Some of our most cherished relationships are with Grandparents. And now as a Nana, I find this is true with our Granddaughter. Friends had shared with us how much they loved their grandbabies, but no conveyed the intensity of the love and emotions we would feel. It is truly unconditional love and acceptance.
Along with these emotions, comes a variety of decisions about our reactions and behaviors. Here is the start of a list, from a Nana and Granddad’s point of view. Please feel free to add to it. As Grandparents:
1. we are not the parents of the grandchild. This means we do not influence parents’ decisions or give unasked for advice.
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2. we use her parents’ child rearing strategies.
3. we think of her parents’ feelings, letting them experience things first with their child, such as first horseback ride, train trip, camp out.
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4. we honor both of her parents and offer encouragement.
5. we ask before we purchase big items.
We want to hold, cuddle, and give Granddaughter the ‘world’. We use our visits as opportunities for more experiences, story book reading, and going to parks. In supporting their parenting decisions, we recognize the ‘touchpoints’ I wrote about last week. When her parents focused on her learning to use the potty, we tried to be aligned with their strategies. We have the same schedule of eating and nap.
When she began walking, we put away all breakable things off of the tables. We wanted ‘no’s to be used for the big things. Our home has become hers, with toys and books in almost every room.
Most of all, we have fun! There is jumping on the bed (supervised of course), tea parties, block constructions, and bulldozers.