What About the Children?
I remember growing up when bullying was the order of the day, towards others who were physically different. In our African American communities much of it related to skin color, hair texture, whether one of your parents was of another race. Seldom was religion or ethnic groups selected out for this bullying towards others. What tempered some of our bullying was the fact that many of our cousins and other relatives were of lighter hues and therefore many of us had to answer to our parents.
The adults seemed to accept the racial mix, some which was seen when different Caucasian men would visit. Most were aware of the habitual violation of our women in the past and the present. When we moved to Breckenridge Hills in St. Louis County (on land that had been owned by an African American farmer who designated it for, only, African American buyers. Charles Vatterott was the developer) we lived in the middle of Caucasians but were bussed to all African American schools. The bullying continued based on the same criteria of skin color, texture of hair and parents, but it became more vehement when infatuation or love came about. Girls and boys of a darker hue who fell for those of a lighter one quickly became the object of scorn. My deceased wife, Sylvia, was derided because her father was Caucasian and mother African American; however there were others of the same ilk and they banded together for survival.
I am writing about some of my history because of a concern about the CHILDREN of gay or lesbian adults. These adults who consider themselves parents are placing these children in volatile psychological situations. The reason for the prior paragraphs was to set up for what I have seen and experienced in this world of slights and downright violence toward differences. I have had friends of this persuasion who had children and have seen the children encounter multitudes of problems trying to grow up. Most children have some difficulty but some added burdens require a great deal of psychological help.
I only hope those of this persuasion who want children are prepared to raise them through the bullying and other pressures on them. When as adults we fall in love with another adult we make heartfelt decisions based on these feelings. Bringing children into this situation (even in heterosexual marriages or relationships) shouldn't be done lightly. Children encounter peer animosity much more so than most adults remember and a lot of it results in bullying. I am not a psychologist but I would advise partners to visit one before CHILDREN. Children deserve all the help and protection available!!!
Jacob Piwo
8:55 pm on Thursday, June 21, 2012
This isn't even worth a comment...I don't know what makes you an expert on this topic, but something tells me you have no professional credentials whatsoever. Who are you to give people this flawed, homophobic, bigoted advice?
Holston Black Jr.
10:51 pm on Thursday, June 21, 2012
Jacob, I am glad you are at least using your name, at least it shows you have some credibility. I admit I only have 14 credit hours above a bachelors degree but I didn't write that my opinions were based on this. What professional credentials do you bring to this discussion to justify your characterizing my opinions as flawed, homophobic and bigoted? As I stated I have lived my experiences and have seen the suffering of CHILDREN who have small differences from the multitudes of their peers. These children through no fault of their own need help. Much of that help comes from the home or should. Parents can help tremendously if they make decisions with the children in mind, before they take certain actions. This is what I believe and I would be willing to discuss this with anyone, professional credentials or not. I wrote the blog hoping to make some people, even myopic people like yourself, open up as adults to what these children might encounter. I was told by my parents about what to expect when we started going to school with Caucasians, because they knew we had to be prepared for possible trouble. Any parent worth their salt has to prepare their CHILDREN. This is or can be a cruel world, especially to young children when their peers identify something that's different. Even you, would acknowledge having (two fathers or two mothers) is not the norm!!
Jacob Piwo
12:24 pm on Friday, June 22, 2012
I actually do think it is NORMAL for 2 adults to raise a child in a loving home whether they are 2 men, 2 women, or 1 man and 1 woman. I believe most gays and lesbians are quite familiar with bullying. Instead of spending your time telling adults they should reconsider adopting a child if they are gay, it would have been better spent, educating people on why bullying is wrong. By not adopting children, the bullies have won. I have travelled around the world many times, and lived in several countries. The differences in people are vast in so many respects. Your blog in narrow minded. I suggest you get yourself a passport and go out and see what real differences are in this world. As an aside, I find it ironic that with all the recent debate in this community about our “slogan--Neighborhood to the World” you would write something like this. If this community is trying to promote diversity (which by the way almost all successful fortune 100 companies do promote and embrace), I would suggest the city NOT use you as their spokeperson.
Holston Black Jr.
6:31 pm on Friday, June 22, 2012
Jacob, you seem to assume quite a lot about things you know nothing about. Why do you assume, I don't have a passport and haven't visited more countries than you have,is it because I am African American? As far as my being a spokesman for U. City, well that's the furthest thing from the powers that be minds as possible. Whatever you say I still plead my case for the CHILDREN, THEIR OBSTACLES MUST BE CONSIDERED FIRST!!!
By the way, I do have a valid passport on which I have visited many places and would like to show mine against your stampings. I have experienced of what I write and if you would read what I write in the spirit of what I write, without being so personally sensitive, you would see I have no personal axe to grind. Adults are in positions to make decisions however CHILDREN aren't. While they are moving toward adult status they will encounter many other children moving in the same direction and the more adult help the easier. I am sure, even you would not disagree with this, that they need guidance, understanding, and as many obstacles removed from their path as possible. This blog is not about corporations even though the Supreme Court has ruled "they are people", it's about living breathing CHILDREN!!!
Jacob Piwo
7:21 pm on Saturday, June 23, 2012
Okay if you want to compare: 32 visits to the UK, 7 visits to Singapore, 10 visits to India, 10 visits to Switzerland, 17 visits to Mexico, 3 visits to The Netherlands, and 1 visit each to Australia, Japan, China, Norway, Denmark, Spain, and Vietnam. I couldn't stop laughing at your comment "Why do you assume, I don't have a passport and haven't visited more countries than you have,is it because I am African American?" That sounds like you assume I am not African American. I wonder why you assume that, because I am African American. I was pretty clear that I thought you had not experienced much of the world, because of your comments about gays...you write as someone who has never left Missouri..it has nothing to do with your skin color, but speaks to your personality that you think it does.